I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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