these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
