this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
