You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
