This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
