these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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