Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
