remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
