This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
