M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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