Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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