I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
