White coat. Heels.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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