We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
