I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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