32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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