im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
