3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
