Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
