I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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