remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
