butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
