: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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