im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was confusing and full of hummus
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
