i jhust puked up my retainher.
...so i touched it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
