Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
