i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
