can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
