Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
