I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Found your dick twin last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
