...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
