So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
