Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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