Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
