@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
