Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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