those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is the high leading the old right now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
