I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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