My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
