White coat. Heels.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
