hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
