Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
