So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
