Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
