Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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