That's intense
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize