Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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