did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
