Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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