You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
