1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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