I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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