i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
