and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize