On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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