So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
